


Lyrics and Life

by Midlifecrisis



Series: Youth is Wasted on the Young [4]
Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Cheating, Family, Loneliness, M/M, Not Cheating, Online Dating, mental health
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-11-01 10:55:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17865935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midlifecrisis/pseuds/Midlifecrisis
Summary: A little fic, each inspired by a song lyric.





	1. Escape (The Piña Colada Song) Rupert Holmes

Even opened the anonymous dating app on his phone - 'HookUp' (Godawful name for an app) and checked the arrangements for what felt like the hundredth time. The guy had really caught his attention by attempting a message that was even cheesier than one that Even would have used.

Mystery Man: "If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain  
If you're not into yoga, if you have half a brain  
If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape  
I'm the love that you've looked for, write to me, and escape"

Even: Ooh, song lyrics? Cheesy move

MM: Glad you like it. I assume you get the reference?

Even: bit brave to use a song about an anonymous hook up on an anonymous hook up app. I'm impressed.

MM: good! Wanna meet?

Even: Wow, that's fast. Ok. Time and place?

MM: Friday 21:00. Do you know 'Highlights'? It's a gay bar in the centre of Oslo.

Even: I know it well *wink smiley* It's a date.

It all happened so fast that Even could hardly believe it. He had a date...his first in at least, what...8 years?

The arrangements had taken some time and attention to plan. It had all been a bit delicate to say the least. Kari hadn't been a problem, she had had sleepovers at her friend Anita's house before. Even had called Anita's Mum (Hanne? he vaguely recalled...) and arranged it for Friday. He would return the favour soon enough: time away from 10-year-old kids was precious and the parents liked to help each other out whenever possible. He had felt a little awkward whilst on the phone. He was sure that his voice gave it away and that Hanne knew what he was planning.

Isak's disappearance had not been quite so easy to arrange. Even wanted to take his time getting ready for his date and there was no way he could do that with Isak there. He had suggested as subtly as possible that it was maybe time for a boys night with Jonas. Laying the foundation and hoping that his knowledge of his husband's thought processes would leave Isak thinking that it was his own idea. 

When eventually Isak had said, "Baby, I've not really hung out with Jonas for a long time. Would you mind if I went round to his for a drink on Friday? I know you like coming, but I kind of just want to catch up with him, just the two of us."

Even smiled, pleased at his own cleverness, "Of course babes. I might just stay in or take the time to catch up with Mikael."

And so Even stood in front of the mirror, looking at the man he had become. He had taken his time showering, particularly his 'personal care'. His naked body was washed, polished and trimmed, inside and out ...ahem... And ready for the night ahead and whatever might unfold. He thought about what he was about to do, but quickly pushed his fear aside. This was one night only.

He had also taken his time over his look. Even had decided on a more formal look. His new tight-fitting suit enhanced his still slender frame but also gave him a bit more gravitas. He loved the blue, dark enough to be dramatic but blue enough to bring out the darker blues in his eyes. He frowned a little at the wrinkles that were now there - mid thirties could be cruel! However, he was still confident in his looks. Isak still fancied him....but best not think about that just now.

He had taken his time over the shirt, but in the end had gone for the new white silk mix skinny fit shirt that he'd bought at the same time as the suit. It not only looked good, but felt soft and sensuous to touch. No tie. His only pair of black smart shoes (bought for one of Jonas kid's humanist birth celebrations - definitely not a christening) would have to do.

His hair was a little different, instead of a gravity-defying quiff, he had gone for a slicker look. He had parted it low on one side and used some of the expensive product that Isak had bought for his birthday (don't go there, Even) to style it in place. He liked the change. It made him look and feel just different enough to give him the extra confidence that he was going to need for tonight.

He pinned his pan lapel badge on and at the last moment decided to wear his new horn-rimmed glasses. He didn't really need them to see, but he knew they accentuated his maturing features and brought out the line of his jaw and lips. 

He stole a final glance in the hall mirror, smoothed down his eyebrows with a wet finger, grabbed his wallet, keys, and a condom and skipped out the door, letting it click locked behind him.

The centre of Oslo was busy for 21:00 on a Friday night, but Highlights hadn't started filling up yet and Even had no trouble getting a seat at the bar. He ordered a beer, he wasn't planning on getting drunk but he needed a little something to give him courage for what was about to happen.

He looked around. The place had only been open a couple of years, but was really the best place to go if one wanted to meet someone, no strings attached. The drinks were reasonable - for Oslo - and the music was loud enough to fill the space, but not so loud that you couldn't talk if you wanted to.

As his drink arrived, he felt a presence at his left shoulder. Even turned round to see one of the most beautiful human beings his eyes had ever had the pleasure of looking at. The man was about his age and height. His hair looked newly done, a short buzz cut that really highlighted the delicate features of his eyes and mouth. His skin was pale and soft looking. He was wearing a trendy floral shirt and beautifully cut trousers, that weren't tight, but seem to touch him in all the right places. Even very obviously looked him up and down.

"What? No pina colada?" The man spoke in English. The man looked back at Even and smiled one of the sexiest smiles Even ever had the pleasure to witness. His eyes sparkled, meeting Even's blue eyes and holding them with an intimacy that seemed very forward so early in a date.

"Please tell me that you like making love at midnight or getting caught in the rain? And you're NOT into yoga are you?" He giggled in a deeper register than Even expected, and it made Even's breath stop. "Hi, I'm Emilio. I'm in Oslo with my football team and I'm really glad you arranged to meet me tonight."

Even stuck out his right hand and replied in his best English, "Hi, I'm James, I'm here from the US on business...and the pleasure is all mine. I like your hair." 

"Thanks. I've just had my hair cut. I thought it was time for a change, time to live without my blond curls for a bit"

"That's a shame, I'm sure curls look cute on you. Still, this new look is very sexy. I'm guessing you're a bit of a bad boy?" Even smiled, "Can I buy you a drink... Emilio?"

Emilio's green eyes took their time roving round Even's face, like he was looking at something for the first time and was surprised by it. He licked his lips with his delicate pink tongue, moistening his sinful Cupid's bow, and gave a little nod, "I'll have whatever you're having, Baby."

Even knew that it was going to be a great night.


	2. Empty Chairs (Don McLean)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak misses Even and Kari

Empty Chairs by Don McLean

“I feel the trembling tingle of a sleepless night   
Creep through my fingers and the moon is bright…  
And I wonder if you know,   
That I never understood,   
That although you said you'd go,   
Until you did - I never thought you would.”

Isak rolled over in bed and slid his hand into the cool space beyond his own body heat. The space where Even usually was, where Even should be. There was nothing but the feel of empty sheets. He opened his eyes very slowly hoping that what he expected to see wouldn’t be the reality. It was. 

No Even. 

No Even in their bed. No Even in their kitchen. No Even in their flat and no Even in his life for the next four days. Stupid school trip. He was sure that Even and Kari were having a ball at the outdoor centre but it was Isak who was abandoned at home – alone.

Isak sighed. He knew the feeling that was upon him now and he acknowledged it without complaint. Sleeplessness. He could see a sliver of white moonlight slice through the not-quite-closed curtains, sharp and clear. He sighed and sat up with a weary acceptance on the edge of his side of the bed. When had it become his side of the bed? He couldn’t remember a time now when he hadn’t shared his sleeping space with Even. Was it now nearly eleven...no twelve years? For nearly all of his twenties, all of his significant adult life, Even had been beside him almost every night. 

Sometimes when Even was beside him it was gentle. When Isak was tired from studying or later on from work and needed Even’s shoulder for his head; His hand caressing his weary skull through his hair. Soothing him, petting him and stroking the stress away. Always helping him to turn his brain off from the day’s busyness. 

Sometimes Even held him fierce and firm. When he was feeling scared or anxious. Isak clearly remembers the night after their first couples’ session, when the counsellor had identified his likely depression. The trip home had been so quiet. They had come into their old tiny flat to find Even’s mum making dinner for them and Kari. She knew they were at couples’ counselling, and she knew that they both had made mistakes, but she didn’t yet know about Isak's mental health. Isak couldn’t face her. 

“Hi Britt” he had smiled a shallow smile. “Thanks for watching Kari. I’m just gonna have a lie down before dinner if that’s ok?” He had fallen asleep almost immediately. He only woke up when Even carried a sleeping Kari through to put her in her little bed at the end of their room. Even had simply crawled in beside his husband and pulled Isak into his arms. He held him tight. Tight and hard almost as if he was scared that Isak would slip away from him like melted ice-cream through fingers on a summer’s day. The fierceness of Even’s love and protection and the physical heat from his body had burned into Isak, giving him the strength to face the next few, very difficult months.

Sometimes Even lay next to Isak in bed and gave nothing. When Even was low and struggling he needed all his strength for himself. Isak was content just to lie beside him, gently touching his shoulder through all the layers of clothes and bedding, or dropping the lightest of kisses onto his head. Just to let him know that Isak was there. But Even’s weight on the bed was still THERE.

He even missed the times when the weather was so hot that they could only lie next to each other, trying not to add to each other’s heat but also not wanting to be too far apart. Or in the winter when Isak’s feet were so cold they felt like blocks of ice, but Even would still let him place them on his calves and thighs to warm them up.

But tonight Isak was alone.

As he stood up slowly, he scratched at his hair, already unruly after an hour or so of tossing and turning. He was never going to sleep now. How could he get comfortable without the most comfortable thing in his life? Isak plodded over to his secret drawer. He pulled out his old Simpsons T-shirt that he and Even had shared in their first year together. It was now threadbare but a precious memento of all they had been in those days. He pulled it over his head, it felt soft and comforting but it was not enough. Isak wandered over to their dirty linen basket. He dug under the clothes (he must do laundry tomorrow) and found one of Evens old hoodies. He pulled it over on top of the T-shirt. Ah, that was more like it. It smelled of Even – of his deodorant and aftershave and sweat and skin. For good measure he picked up the pillow from Even’s side of the bed and wandered through to the sofa. As he passed Kari’s room, he grabbed a teddy bear off her bed and fell down on the sofa, and this was where he stayed until morning.

Isak watched the coffee slowly trickle from the filter into the pot…drip…drip…drip. His eyes felt dry and heavy. He blinked with superhuman effort and slowness. He sat down on his seat at the breakfast table and looked at the two empty places across from him. He sighed, deep and unhappy. The flat seemed so empty without them. The chairs were SO empty. He sipped his coffee, already missing Even’s lovely breakfast - no eggs, no pancakes, no love in food form. It was so quiet without Kari chattering about the day ahead, what she was looking forward to and all the latest news from her circle of friends.

His melancholy was interrupted by his phone; shattering the silence of the empty flat.

‘Even calling…’ flashed on the screen.

Isak grabbed his phone, fumbling to open it, 

“Morning Babes,” Even purred on the other end of the line.

“Morning Baby,” Isak grinned back at him, “Boy, it’s so good to hear your voice…”


	3. Mr Blue Sky (ELO)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A blue sky day for this little family.

“Sun is shinin' in the sky  
There ain't a cloud in sight…  
I'll remember you this way”

 

Isak sat on the living room chair like a king on his throne as Even and Kari circled round him singing and dancing a rather mixed ability rendition of "Hurra for deg"! Eight year old Kari's lovely voice rang out true, whilst Even's rather deep and monotone bass made up in enthusiasm what it lacked in accuracy.

"...så, hva vil du mere? Gratulere!"

Kari cheered and clapped and gave her dad a big smile. She came round to the front of where he was sitting and plonked herself rather heavily down on Isak's knee. Isak groaned out loud, 

"Blimey Kari, you're getting a bit big to sit on my knee without a warning..." 

This made Even join the party and sit on top of Kari on top of Isak. Kari giggled delightedly as Isak squeaked from under them both, "OK family, thank you very much, but today isn't going to be much fun if I lose the ability to walk!"

This resulted in all three of them becoming a tangled mess on the big soft seat until Isak managed to extricate himself out from under them both, leaving a confused Even and Kari looking up at Isak as he stood in front of them.

Kari and Even were both still giggling. Isak was never sure which one of them was more childish.

"So, what do we have planned for today, guys?" Isak asked, trying to hide his excitement. Ever since Even had come in to his life, Isak's birthdays had changed from being days to endure and survive, into being days to cherish. Birthdays were a huge thing in their little family.

"We're not going to spoil it by telling you, dad, so there's no point asking. Just make sure you have comfortable clothes on and pack your swimming trunks!"

"Kari?!" Even squawked, "I wasn't going to tell your dad about that bit. I've got the bag already packed and hidden away.

"Sorry Papa..." Kari wrinkled up her nose. "But at least I didn't tell him about the special breakfast or the bike ride!"

Isak burst out laughing and kissed his girl on the nose, "Yes, that would have been a disaster!"

Even completed an eye-roll worthy of his husband, "Oh Kari!"

Isak turned to look at him and smiled softly. He lifted his arm and stroked Even's chin gently with the tips of his fingers. His right hand found Even's fingers dangling at his side and twined them together. He then leaned in and gave Even the same kiss as he had just given their daughter on the tip of his nose. Isak suddenly felt overwhelmed by love and peace. He could be a grumpy bugger sometimes, but standing here with the two most important people in his life he was aware, more than ever, that it was important to count his blessings. He took a mental snapshot - a photo of this moment. ‘Remember this’, he told himself.

"Breakfast sounds great!"

Isak groaned in delight as he sat back on his chair, rubbing his stomach. Even's ability in the kitchen had only improved over their years together and it always amazed Isak why he wasn't enormously overweight. His three course breakfast had been delicious: Even's special eggs and smoked salmon, Kari's homemade pancakes with jam and fresh coffee with a tiny pastry to finish. Isak thought, not for the first time, that truly the way to his heart was through his stomach!

The rest of the day didn’t disappoint. At Kari’s insistence, they had hired three bikes and cycled the Oslo harbour promenade, the ‘Havnepromenaden’, a 9 km long route round the water’s edge of Oslo. Kari was the navigator and had enjoyed following the map telling her parents what to do at every orange sign post. They stopped halfway and had some snacks, and although Isak wasn’t really hungry yet, he ate the berries and drank the mineral water to please Kari who had been learning about healthy eating at school. 

“It is important, Dad, to have a balanced intake of food and plenty of water. Fruit makes an excellent snack!” 

Even caught Isak’s eyes over the top of Kari’s head and wiggled his eyebrows. They smiled at each other, delighted with their precious and precocious eight year-old daughter.

As they lay on the grass and munched the fruit, they talked about everything and nothing. Even told them some stories about the young children at his nursery and their funny questions. Kari giggled at these, but Isak reminded her about the silly things she would say when she was younger. 

“Do you remember Ev, that she called you ‘papa’ first before she called me ‘dad’? I was soooo offended!”

“Oh Dad, I’m sorry!”

“Oh yeah,” Even laughed, “and she couldn’t say Kari, so she called herself ‘Kal’, which sounded like cabbage!”

“Ma petite choux!” Isak rubbed her hair and kissed her.

They reluctantly stood up from their comfortable rest stop and cycled on. Soon it was lunchtime and they reached their final destination, the Sørenga seawater pool. Kari had been desperate to come here for ages and Isak was delighted by this journey's end. They jumped and splashed, swam and played, lay on the sand and ate food from the carts around the decking. As Isak lazed on his elbows, soaking in the sun, he watched Kari and Even build a sandcastle together. Because this was Even, it was no upturned bucket on the beach. It was a castle fit for a prince: complete with turrets, balconies, bridges, gardens and a swimming pool! Even had even tried to form a mini, Kari, Isak and Even out of sand. When that didn’t work, he drew them on a bit of paper and stuck them on the top-most balcony together.

As Isak watched them, he felt something that overwhelmed him. He couldn’t put it into words. There was something about the beautiful blue sky, the sparkling water of the fjord: something about the satisfying tiredness in his body, and the salt on his skin: something about the eyes of his husband which shone like the sky itself in this light: something about the wild blond curls of their daughter’s hair. He let his brain take a second mental picture of this day. ‘Remember this’, he told himself again.

Isak felt his eyes fill with tears, not of sadness and not of joy, but tears of…he didn’t know what. Tears of contentment? Satisfaction? Just overpowering emotion? As he pondered this he suddenly saw Even look at him. He wandered over, “Are you alright Babe?”

“Yeah Baby. I’m just having a little moment! Watching you and Kari…I don’t know…just made me feel so much…I can’t even describe it.”

“You don’t have to describe it. Just feel it and file it away for a rainy day” Even grinned at him, “because they’ll certainly come again, but we’ll always have this!”

“I will…so wise and so beautiful at the same time.” Isak sighed.

They sneaked a couple of kisses and leaned against each other, just watching Kari play with her castle. As usual, and without either of them really noticing, Even’s hand began to card through and caress Isak’s tangled hair.

By the time they returned to the flat, all three of them were exhausted. Kari was asleep almost immediately after her supper. Isak tucked her in her bed as Even removed his clothes and collapsed in theirs. Isak wandered through and plopped himself down beside his husband. The mattress bounced with the force of his landing. Even giggled. 

“Delicate and gentle as always!”

Isak turned on his side to face Even, Even did the same. As they looked at each other, close…so close but not yet touching, Even lifted his arm and gently and rubbed his thumb along Isak’s cheekbone.

“Have you had a good birthday?”  
“I really have. Thank you so much for it all!”  
“You’re always worth it.”  
Isak paused, “I will always remember you as you were today, you know - you are my Mr Blue Sky.”  
“What do you mean?” Even asked, a little puzzled, as he lightly kissed Isak on his lips.  
“Just that everything that is good about my life is all found in you.” Isak paused “I know it sounds a bit pompous but it’s in the blue of your eyes. Like the song…I just have to look at you and it’s a beautiful new day. Sometimes like today it is special, unusual almost overwhelming, other days it is commonplace but never unnoticed. I promise I will never take you for granted.”  
And as they lay on their bed and kissed their day to its close, Isak took a final snapshot of his day: of his husband’s pink lips, his pale skin and his blue sky eyes.


	4. Lost (Michael Buble)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst was requested.  
> Michael Buble is not to everyone's taste, but the words just suit these boys so well.

Life can show no mercy  
It can tear your soul apart  
It can make you feel like you've gone crazy  
But you're not...  
'Cause you are not alone  
And I am here with you  
And we'll get lost together  
Til the light comes pouring through  
'Cause when you feel like you're done  
And the darkness has won  
Babe, you're not lost.

 

At 19:00 Isak had began to get worried. Whenever Even worked late, it was never THIS late and if he had made social plans he would have called.

"Did papa say anything to you about a meeting or anything tonight?" Isak asked Kari as inconspicuously as possible.

Kari didn't look up from her book, "No, I don't think so."

The room was quiet. Kari slowly made eye contact with Isak.

"Oh." She said, her eyes getting big. "Oh!" Another pause. "Is he not answering his phone? Should we do something?"

"No. No answer on his phone. It's ok. I'll call round some people and see if he's there. Nothing to worry about I'm sure."

Even had gone out to work at the nursery on Friday morning as usual, kissed Isak and Kari goodbye as they had all gone their separate ways. He had simply not returned home that evening.

It WAS something to worry about. The last person to see Even had been a colleague in the nursery. He had put some loud music on in his little classroom at the end of the day and had been dancing as he tidied the classroom, getting rid of the week's mess, getting ready for Monday. He had been the last one in the school, after everyone else had gone. Isak couldn't get hold of the caretaker to find out what had happened after that.

"Ok Kari. I think Papa is probably on an 'up'. He hasn't been seen since the end of the school day and he had been showing some mild sign of mania. Are you ok to talk about this?"

"Yes dad." She nodded softly

"Well then, I think he's in a mini high or something. We've not really had any warning for it but maybe I haven't noticed or something, but he might not be acting very safely or thinking about things healthily just now. I've put a hold on his bank and credit cards just in case. I'm going to have to go and try and find him. Are you ok to stay here and be available in case anything or anyone comes here?"

"Yes dad." She nodded again.

"I know it's a lot to ask of you..." Isak tailed off, not sure what to say.

"Dad it's fine. If Papa is not well then he needs you to find him and make sure he's ok. I'll be here when you get back."

Isak reached for his daughter and held her tight. He gave her a kiss, picked up his keys, wallet and jacket and left to find his husband.

This turn of events was particularly hard for Isak. Even's episode had seemingly come out of no-where. Even had been sleeping well and none of the usual signs or markers had been obvious to neither Even nor Isak.

Isak had a long and frustrating night. He had tried all of the places he could think of: clubs and bars, cinemas, theatres, late night galleries, but without any idea he really didn't know where to look. And Oslo on a Friday night was BUSY! It was 03:00 when he opened the door to the apartment. Kari was sleeping on the sofa, wrapped in her blanket. He quietly sat down beside her on the soft cushions and stroked her hair out of her eyes.

"Hi baby girl. You should go through to your bed."

"Nothing?" She asked, raising her eyebrows like Even and almost mouthing the words with no sound.

Isak shook his head, not trusting himself to speak.

"Should we call the police?"

Isak shook his head again. "And tell them what?" he sighed deeply. "Come on, let's get some sleep and start again in the morning."

Isak wandered round the centre of Oslo all morning. Looking in every coffee shop and cafe, bar and shop. He was having a caffeine shot in the form of an espresso when his phone rang.

"Hi Dad. Erm... I think I know where Papa is. He's uploaded an image to his Insta. He's at Vineland Park. In front of the big monolith in the centre. He's sitting on a bench there...and dad, I think his high is over."

Isak thanked Kari and ran to the tram. Oh Even. Please be safe.

Isak had to run from the park entrance to the monument, the whole time whispering to himself, please be safe, please be safe, please be safe...

His heart almost stopped when he saw Even. He was slumped on the bench, curled in on himself, wearing nothing but a thin and very ugly, pink t-shirt and trousers. Isak pulled off his own jacket and took the extra jumper and hat out his backpack for Even as he forced himself to walk slowly towards him. He didn't want to spook him or make him afraid.

"Hi baby. Are you cold? Would you like a jumper or hat?"

Even looked up at Isak and blinked slowly. His hair was a mess and his eyes were so strange, like a photo taken with a black and white camera. There was no colour in them at all. The bags under them were colourless shadows and his irises had lost all their blue, only showing a dull flat grey.

He nodded slowly and let Isak carefully wrap him up.

Isak quietly texted Kari to let her know they were on their ways home, but the journey back to the flat had been torturous. Even was silent but twitchy and anxious. He had not yet reached a stage of being slothful and heavy. He seemed terribly upset about something and was unable to even look at or communicate with Isak. It was well after lunchtime before they made it home. Kari was waiting for them at the door with her jacket on and her percussion bag in her hand. She leaned in to place a loving kiss on Even's cheek.

"Hi papa. I'm glad you're home. I'm just away out to do some practice at the music centre. I'm meeting Anita for dinner at her's so I might just say the night there if that's ok."

She was speaking to Even but it was Isak that answered her.

"That sounds fine. Make sure you keep in touch and have a nice time." Clever girl. She knew that Even needed a bit of space to be himself, and that he would find it difficult with Kari around. Isak, for the hundredth time in the past twenty four hours, thanked his lucky stars for their daughter.

Isak guided Even gently to the sofa where they sat down. Even was pulling and twisting at his long fingers, the skin at the edge of his nails was torn and bleeding, his lovely nails bitten down low.

Unusually, Even made direct eye contact with Isak. 

"I think I did something really stupid Isak." He dropped his eyes and lowered his head.

Isak, acting on instinct, gently touched Even's chin with the tip of his forefinger and lifted his head back up.

"Look at me Even. You're not alone. Whatever you've done we'll sort it out together."

The silence was long and loaded. Even was very obviously trying to find the right words amongst his muddled brain and crashing emotions.

"I don't remember Isak. I don't. I just don't. I might have but I can't... I just can't remember." 

Isak gently lifted him to his feet and moved them through to the bedroom. 

Even shook his head as he lay on their bed. Hot tears pooling at the corners of his eyes. He was still wearing the clothes Isak had found him in: a tight pink sleeveless t-shirt, skinny leather look jeans and silver Doc Martins. Isak wasn't even sure where Even had got them from, he had never seen any of them before.

Isak ran his hand through Even's tired and greasy hair, letting his fingers scratch at his scalp. He wiped his eyes with the flat of his thumb.

Even began to speak."I think I was with someone. I wanted to make a movie and...so many photos....my phone is full I think...I..." He stopped.

"It's ok baby. I'm not asking you to explain anything." Silence. "Do you want to take these clothes off and get into something more comfortable? Do you want a wash?"

Even swallowed thickly and nodded. "Can I have a bath in a little while?"

Isak very carefully undid the boots and slid them off. Even wasn't wearing socks and Isak noticed a huge, raw, open blister on each heel - he made a mental note to fix that later. He remove the ugly, un-Even t-shirt, covered in alcohol spills and a few drops of blood, probably, hopefully, from the cut on Even's lip. He would also need to clean that. His slender chest had two large and ugly bite marks on it. Isak refused to call them 'love bites', they were not.

He finally worked up the courage to peel the hideous trousers off, trying not to notice the unnamed stains and fluids on them. Even had no underwear on. He managed not to react when he saw the finger shaped bruises on Even's inner thigh and hip bone. The red welts stood out like a beacon against his pale skin. Skin that never saw the sun, that was only ever seen by the light in Isak's eyes. Isak sighed as quietly as he could, but he needed to expel some of the air he had been holding in his lungs. 

Isak pulled on Even's soft pyjama trousers and wrapped him in the biggest, softest, cosiest jumper he could find, and pulled the duvet on top. He kissed his hair, 

"I'm just going to get some ointment and cotton wool to clean a little cut on your feet and lip, don't want you getting an infection." And with that he left.

Isak was acting solely on love and experience. They had been married for more than twelve years now, together for nearly seventeen, and he had seen Even crashing from a manic episode before. Even did everything in his power to stave off the more extreme swings: he took his medication, his diet was great, sleep pattern regular, blood tests regular, psychiatric meetings monthly and a daily diary and log. He took his life with his husband and fourteen year old daughter very seriously and did his utmost to prevent the extremes of his condition. But there is no cure for bipolar, and sometimes, when you least expect it, your demons surface. Isak did not blame Even, how could he? You don't blame someone for catching a cold! Isak understood a little of mental health challenges from the inside, from his depressive episode, but he knew Even's challenges were beyond anything he could really understand.

So Isak was simply THERE for Even. He was his husband, partner, lover and friend and he would stay with him until the sun came back to his blue sky eyes.

After gently cleaning his feet, Isak tidied away the ointment and picked up his book, phone and a drink of water and sat beside Even on the bed.

"I'll be here when you need me, baby."

"Even turned his head halfway towards Isak. Would you charge my phone and look at the photos for me. I think I need to know."

"Are you sure?"

Even nodded and Isak nodded in response.

Isak moved through to the living room and put Even's phone on to charge. He sat on the lounge seat, waited a couple of minutes, took a deep breath and opened Even's images. The phone was full of pictures, hundreds and hundreds of them. Isak began to scroll through them. The first section was filed properly under 'location shots'. Isak recognised some of the clubs he had been at last night, and ground his teeth in frustration. The next lot were blurry and useless, images of thumbs and up close of eyes or ears. It was clear that as the night wore on, Even had become more unable to function. Isak began to scroll lazily, become blasé as he moved through indecipherable image after image. 

Suddenly the colours of the images changed and Isak froze. It was clear from the set up of the photos that Even was no longer taking the images, he was now a model in them. He quickly put the phone face down on the seat and breathed heavily as if running a marathon. His head was dizzy. He closed his eyes and tried to count his breaths slowly. What should he do? Does he look at these? Tell Even? Look at them together? Delete them?

Isak sat for a long time in silence, looking at the back of Even's phone.

He made a decision. He picked the phone up and began to look. Slowly, image by image. It was Even and another man. Obviously in some kind of hotel room, a third party must have been watching the and taking the photos. Both men had their clothes on but the images showed sexual touching. Isak stopped and stared. He moved through a few more images, all similar until he got to the final photo on the phone.

The last photo was of Even standing up over this other man looking at the camera with his hand out, as if to ask for his phone back.

Isak's finger hovered over the delete. He didn't know what to do.

Then he did. Even deserved to know everything that Isak knew. It would be toxic to their marriage otherwise. There was nothing that Even could do that would make Isak love him less. Nothing. As Isak thought about this he realised it was true.

He put the phone down and wandered back through to the bedroom. He lay down beside his husband and gently stroked his shoulder through the layers.

He whispered to him, "Together."


	5. Shut Up and Dance (Walk the Moon)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A slow dance to a fast song.

'Oh don't you dare look back  
Just keep your eyes on me  
I said you're holding back  
She said shut up and dance with me  
This woman is my destiny  
She said ooh ooh ooh  
Shut up and dance with me'

[Wrong gender - Right sentiment.]

It was Jonas and Eva's sixth Humanist Baby Naming Ceremony. 

They had been a together as a couple in first year at school in Nissen, apart in second year, on and off in third year and mostly off while Jonas was at university and travelling (read 'friends with benefits'). In their mid twenties they had found each other again with a 'bang'. This had resulted in one child roughly every two years. By their mid thirties they had five children, all boys, a large house and more than a few grey hairs. Child number six came as a surprise after a night of passion in a hotel following Eva's fortieth birthday party. 

And she was a girl.

Baby Sofie was adored by all. Isak and Even suspected that she may grow up to be spoiled, but living with five older siblings and parents as down to earth as Jonas and Eva, would save her in the end.

And because this was their sixth naming ceremony, all the themes they had really cared about had been taken (Mathias - love, Oliver - family, Jakob - charity, Filip - friendship and Lucas - Norway). So, in a break from the tradition that they themselves had started, Jonas and Eva invited all their loved ones to Oslo's very first Fancy Dress Naming Ceremony.

When the invitation had arrived, Kari - at seventeen, thought it was a fantastic idea. Isak - at forty was less certain, but Even - at forty three was beyond excited. He took full responsibility for their outfits and spent every night researching different 'couple' ideas for him and Isak.

"Do we REALLY have to take this so seriously?" Isak complained. "It's just an excuse to get together and have a party. Can't we just put our normal clothes on and wear a hat or headband or something. I could maybe go as far as a bit of face-paint or a mask?"

Even frowned at his husband, "Are you shitting me? Have you met me? There is no way our outfits are going to be anything less than spectacular! So grin and bear it babes, cos we are gonna fuckin' rock. Kari has decided that she wants to go as a Valkeryie, and she has already started making the costume. Just think yourself lucky that we haven't joined her as Loki and Thor. I think I could pull off the look and you would look hot with the hammer and a cape!"

Even snorted in laughter at the image in his head. Isak just rolled his eyes and went back to marking first year biology homework.

Even had refused to reveal his plans in advance, telling Isak that the only thing he had to do was grow a beard.

"A beard? Please tell me I'm not Thor after all?"

"No...you'll see!"

When the celebration arrived, Isak was nervous all day. Even laid out their outfits on the bed and called for Isak and Kari. 

Kari wandered through finishing off her look by plaiting her long, curly blond hair. She had decided to go classic operatic Valkyrie rather than cosplay MCU Valkyrie and she looked amazing. Isak blinked at her, it was a little sexier than he was expecting. He was just getting ready to say something when...

Even cleared his throat to get the attention back on himself. "Ok, here we go. Da da! What do you think?"

Isak looked down at the clothes on the bed and didn't know what to say. There were no superhero costumes. No Abba flares. No 80's neon. No Romeo or Juliet - he was SURE Even was going to make him a male Juliet! Not even any colours. No ridiculous anything.

"It's all black baby!"

"I know! We're going as Allen Ginsberg and Jack Kerouac, the Beat poets. They are gay icons and usually dressed in standard 50's American clothing, but when they performed they wore black polo necks, black jeans and boots. Ginsberg had a beard, so that's you - here are your black horn rimmed glasses. I'm Kerouac!" 

Even had gathered props of a couple of books, one of poetry and one of their letters. 

"What do you think?"

"Let's get dressed then I'll tell you."

Kari just shook her head and smiled as she left the room. She muttered, "What a couple of dorks!"

First of all, Even did their hair. He teased Isak's curls into a bigger style and brushed his short beard: then he slicked his own hair down with Brylcreem which he had specially bought online for the occasion. The two men then got dressed at the same time, facing away from each other.

"Ok..." Said Even, the excitement tangible in his voice, "turn round on three, no...on one. Ready? Three, two, one..."

They turned. Isak looked at Even, Even looked at Isak.

"Holy fuck you look hot." Even mumbled

"Shit, Even, you should dress like that every day!"

The two men stood and stared at each other, each looking his husband up and down. Isak took a slow step forward. 

"I can't believe how amazing you look. I think I'm getting turned on here. God, I can't believe how much this suits you. We are totally keeping these outfits. Fuck!"

Even sniggered. He knew he hadn't lost his eye for style. Isak looked beautiful. The black made his eyes pop and his beard and hair were a total turn on.

"We've got all night!" He smiled. Ready to go?"

"Mmm, yeah I suppose we had better, just don't expect me not to be looking at you wherever you are in the room. God, your hair, and your eyes, and your...you!?"

Isak couldn't help himself. He leaned in and planted a smacker on Even's lips. Even smiled and did the same back to Isak. All of a sudden they were both breathing heavily and making out like teenagers. Although it was so familiar, it was also a little new and different. Even enjoyed the rough feel of Isak's beard and Isak let his hands rest on his husband's chest and slowly slip down to his hips.

Kari burst into their room without even knocking, "I thought as much! Right you two, show some self control! God, you're so embarrassing sometimes. We're going to be late!"

Isak and Even giggled into each other's mouths as their lips still touched. Eventually Even pulled away, took Isak's hand and quietly asked, "Ready?"

Isak nodded. He straightened out his trousers, feeling glad that they weren't too tight. He was flushed and flustered, unsure how he was going to concentrate on the rest of the occasion. The two men walked through to the living room together, still holding hands.

Even turned to their daughter, "Ready Kari? Let's go and kick some fancy dress ass!"

 

The naming ceremony was not long and Sofie behaved beautifully. Soon enough the music started and everyone began chatting, eating the buffet food and getting drinks. Eva and Jonas were old hands at this and very quickly the younger kids disappeared off with their babysitters, leaving the adults to have a proper party. When you have six kids you have to make the most of every opportunity.

Kari was dancing with 14 year old Mathias, Jonas' eldest. He was obviously totally smitten with Kari in her shaped body armour and golden headband with wings. Who wouldn't be, she was the full Wagnerian dream- or more likely nightmare for any poor individual who tried it on.

Isak was talking to Jonas near the bar, beer in hand, whilst Even was, as usual, surrounded by a gaggle of women alternating between asking him about being a male nursery teacher, complimenting him on Kari and flirting openly with him. Isak couldn't stop glancing at him over Jonas' shoulder. He stood tall and straight, his black outfit making him look sleek and dangerous. His slick hair was acting as a magnet to Isak's hands: he was desperate to touch it and mess it up.

Even glanced his way and caught his husband's eye, but he didn't smile. He held Isak's gaze, his pupils expanding, his face blank but something obviously going on behind the cool facade. Isak couldn't look away. Jonas noticed and followed Isak's gaze to its resting place on Even's face.

"Fuck, Isak. It's a good job you two can't make babies, or you'd have more than me and Eva. How can he still eye-fuck you like that after twenty years?"

Isak blushed intensely, but didn't look away. He let his eyes roam all over Even's body. It was true, he still fancied Even. Their bodies had changed, grown older, thicker and a bit more loose, but there was no one else in this room he would rather be with. The blood was pounding in his ears and he was struggling to concentrate. 

Subconsciously he felt the song change. A heavy pop beat began. Even's face changed, slowly a broad smile spread across his mouth. Isak recognised the change. They were going to dance and there was nothing Isak could do about it.

Even stood in front of him. "Well Isak. Nothing to be said. Shut up and dance with me?" 

The dance floor filled up quickly with guests of all ages: teenagers, parents, grandparents, aunts and friends. It was a fast, pop-y song. Everyone was bouncing, jumping, laughing and singing at the top of their lungs. But not Isak and Even. They stood in front of each other, noticing none of these other people. They could have been on their own in the room. Even's hands were on Isak's hips and Isak's hands were on Even's ass. They were cheek to cheek and Even was singing into Isak's ear: hot, low and sensuous:

"I felt it in my chest as she looked at me  
I knew we were bound to be together  
Bound to be together"

Isak pulled back and smiled at Even:

"This woman is my destiny  
She said oh oh oh  
Shut up and dance with me"

Mathias looked at Kari as they danced, bouncing on the spot with youth and energy. He leaned over, pointed his head at Isak and Even and shouted in her ear, "Are they always like that?"

Kari nodded with resignation.

"Yeah," Mathias answered, mature beyond his years, "my parents too!"

And they sung loudly at the top of their happy voices, "Ooh oo ooh, Shut up and dance with me!"

**Author's Note:**

> Any suggestions for lyrics?


End file.
